While watching an interview of a movie actor, I was struck by something said. He was asked, “what is it that he likes most about women?” He replied, “their warmth, their love, and the way they care and so on.” Then he was asked the same question about men, to which he gave an interesting reply. He said, “Men are dogs. Nothing can be done about them.”
Doesn’t this statement imply men cannot change? So it is futile to even expect boys to reform. This is not an isolated opinion of one male. I have grown up listening to this refrain — ‘boys will be boys,’ ‘Men are dogs’ and things like this. What I fail to understand is ‘why men will be men?’
While discussing the question how to change society to make it a better and safer place for women to live in, we need to stop and ponder. Before changing the way how we think about women, what needs to be changed is how the society has created a man’s image. There is no denying the fact that women have been treated as an inferior being. But equally true is the fact that boys have been injected a superiority complex within them. A certain sense of false masculinity has been imposed upon them. Women not being perceived as inferior will in no way change the notion of superiority/masculinity among men. These two are interlinked but different problems with different set of solutions.
Things cannot and will not change for women, till the approach is holistic. The problem with feminism is that it has treated women as the sole victim of society’s parochial thinking. But the truth is men have equally been the victims of this societal pressure. A guy cannot cry; he cannot be emotional; he cannot feel weak sometimes; he has to be strong and macho all the time. Stop crying like a girl, behave like a man– the list is endless. What is wrong in crying and why is it girlish? Aren’t emotions meant for all humans or they meant only for girls. I never understood what is so particular about behaving like a man
These refrains have inflated the male ego so much that it becomes difficult for boys to face defeat or rejection from a girl. And thus, they react in audacious manner when they find any girl– be it their sisters or friends, outdoing them in any field. Boys too are ordinary human beings and not superman. They are no superior race. Its high time society and men themselves accept this reality. By declaring that men will be men, we also declare that men have no scope of reform. They were chauvinist and will always remain so. And this is not and should not be the case.