Cultivating Self-Worth

Have you ever felt useless? Like you’re worth nothing? That you’re ugly and not even smart? I have. I think all of us have that one point in life where we are too afraid to do something new but are also too tired of the monotony. And I’m on that threshold right now. So when I say, I understand, trust me, I do.

I have finished one year of college and if you ask me what I have learned, I can say for sure that I haven’t learned anything that will make me feel better about my existence. I want a job but I don’t want to look for it, I want to read but I can’t. It is frustrating. I am nineteen now and if you ask me about what I have achieved, I won’t be able to say anything.

But are certificated things the only things that matter? In practical life, yes. But what about inner satisfaction? I don’t know.

I don’t feel beautiful enough because I’m insecure about myself. And why is that? Because I don’t believe I have met the societal standards of beauty. This is sad. Sad that so many women feel too fat, too thin, too dark or too ugly. It is sad because so many people die thinking that they’re not good enough.

People die thinking they’re not good enough for a particular job, or not smart enough because they didn’t get good marks. We are so pressured to believe that some things are normal and some are abnormal.

Who set this standard? What if I don’t want to comply? What if I want to be fat and yet be called beautiful? What if I want to be a mediocre student and lead a middle class life and be kind to others? What if I want to dress up everyday like my life is a party?  I cannot because I allow an outer world to dictate my life.

So stop feeling like you owe an explanation to the world about what you are. Love yourself. Be happy. Be healthy. Of course this post leaves so many things open-ended and with no conclusion and zero writing skills, but let’s just think about these points in solace.

About Shaifila Ladhani

Shaifila Ladhani (2017) is an undergraduate student in the Department of Psychology, JMI.

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