All-party meet in Delhi (Image Credit:

Govt. Takes Action, Formulates Policy on How to Make a Rapist [Satire]

[Following is a satirical take on the government’s incompetence in dealing with the culture of sexual violence against women in India. This is a work of fiction.]

The Indian State has come up with a never tried before path-breaking formula, what it calls a “sure-shot way to produce a rapist.” In fact, for the first time ever, there seems to be an unspoken consensus even amongst the rivaling political factions keeping in mind the urgency of the matter. Some leaders have called it an unprecedented move as it was able to unite India’s ever diverging political imbroglio.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and Mamata Banerjee recently had their first meeting since their fallout in which they discussed the plan to institutionalize the formula and urgently implement it in full spirit. Further, women leaders from all the important political parties deliberated in a first of its kind meeting to give their collaborative invaluable contributions in the proposal. After their meeting, they addressed a conference in which the group gave an assurance to the women of the country that they will leave no stone unturned in order to make India the most unsafe country for the women to breathe in.

All-party meet in Delhi (Image Credit:
All-party meet in Delhi (Image Credit: Via

The Government has provided a glimpse of this formula on its official website, which is summarized below:

It is of utmost importance to preserve the endangered social fabric of our society. With this intent we have come up with a plan to safeguard our traditional patriarchal structure and ensure that the freedom of our fellow Indian men is not curtailed at any cost. The most conservative minds from all over the country were invited who deliberated over this grave danger looming over our nation and formulated this action plan. 

Key Ingredients:

 A patriarchal environment

A dehumanized society

Uncultured Men

Submissive Women

Crippled Judiciary

Ineffective laws coupled with shoddy implementation

Half-baked Urbanization

Corrupted Police Forces

Narrow –minded Sexist Intellectuals

The Unique Recipe:

The state is committed to stand in complicity with the law breakers towards any sort of violence against women. This marks the foundation of our plan as it will ensure the drudgery of women in public and social spaces. All the aforementioned elements are to be utilized in excess capacities in order to achieve our target. The state and all its wings stand in timeless and unconditional support to those groups and individuals who promote our agenda of men’s emancipation. 

Further, we plan to utilize the power of print and electronic media and spread our message among the masses in our publicity wings. A special direction has been given to all the MPs to publically voice their misogynist opinions in all their public meetings. We thank Mr. Mukherjee for giving us such a ground-breaking idea and also encourage others to show similar enthusiasm towards our efforts. 

Meanwhile proposals have started to pour in from various divisions of the government on how to actualize the plan. Some of these include unconditional impunity to rapists and assaulters, and a proposal of giving an opportunity to the present inmates held in the prisons for similar cases to reduce their sentence if they pledge to help the state in their fight for the rapists. The law and order ministry has released a communiqué touting this proposal as revolutionary in the history of criminal law.

The Prime Minister while recently addressing the journalists at a conference exhibited his faith in the potential of the formula to add to the every rising glory of Shining India and mark a special place for India in the world.

[Anjali Chhabra is a postgraduate student in the Nelson Mandela Centre for Peace and Conflict Resolution. She can be reached via email at: anjalichhabra.91 [at]]

About Anjali Chhabra

Anjali Chhabra is a postgraduate student in the Nelson Mandela Centre for Peace and Conflict Resolution. She can be reached via email at: anjalichhabra.91 [at]

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